Phobias

Do you have any? I have a couple, some more drastic then others. First I wouldn’t really call this a phobia, more like “they make me a little nervous”. But I have a thing with midgets, yeah they may want to be called little people but damn it they are midgets to me. I am not “really” scared of them but they do make me feel a little nervous when I see them. Like I could break out and run away at any moment, like I don’t want to look them in their eye or rather top of their head, like if one approached me I might just start swinging. But I don’t really call that a phobia.

Now bugs especially spiders scary me to death. I can’t even kill spiders, I can drown them in bug spray but to step on them HELL TO THE NAW that’s not happening. At my place I have bug spray and I spray the whole place regularly, and if one slips through the cracks I get my trusty can of spray and kill, but I don’t do clean up. At the Fiancée’s place it’s the same way. He doesn’t know this but I periodically spray there too.

Now here is where I face a problem – the Fiancée doesn’t understand the fear I have of bugs. He doesn’t get it, doesn’t care to get it, and pisses me off when he takes his sweet time killing a bug. Last week I was dog sitting for HIS family. I ended up staying at his brother’s house just cause it was more convenient then going back and forth. First two days we’re great, puppy was easy to take care of well trained, etc. Then morning 3 I am all ready for work got to the basement once and set up the room for the puppy come up to get puppy and head back down and hot damn there is a giant spider on the damn steps. I freak, probably squeeze the puppy to tight as I scramble to find some bug spray. I call the Fiancée and he is already on the road and provides no assistance at all or support. I end up calling sister in law and ask her where she keeps the bug spray – “in the basement” she says. Hell no I can’t get to the basement. I am sweating and shacking at this point. I found some carpet cleaner thinking that will at least make this spider sticky. No – it infuriates him. I call future mother in law and ask for her to come and help me. But she can’t come for another 20 minutes. DAMN DAMN DAMN. Meanwhile this damn spider is running up and down the steps – I kid you not. I can’t let him get up to the living area cause this damn puppy will be on his own for 3 days if that happens. Finally mother in law gets there (thank god) and she just as calmly walks down and steps on it and picks it up and throws it away. I think I love her.

Now through this all the Fiancée is pissed at me cause of my fear. What the heck is that about? Doesn’t he know that people have real phobias? So a co-worker helped me do some research on getting over phobias and there are three steps: looking at pictures, looking at them live, and then holding one.

That’s not going to happen.

Peace out.